WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
