great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
