If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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