Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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