I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
