They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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