I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
