would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
