I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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