I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
third nipple confirmed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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