Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
