You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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