I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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