I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
