I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
