hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
