This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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