it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
