how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
