I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
