I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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