Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
