found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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