he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
