STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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