And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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