I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So many bounce houses so little time
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
