I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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