I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
