The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
