His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
