i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
