sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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