I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Drunk is not a location!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
