Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
