is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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