He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
