I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
