Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
