I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
