is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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