So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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