Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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