PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
