Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
