I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
