My brain says no but my pants say off.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
