It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
