before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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