thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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