Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
